We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
