Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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