It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my sisters under your porch take her home
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
