you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
