Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm both gender and math confused
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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