at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
