Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
