I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
