He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
