you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
