They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's never too late to be topless.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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