Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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