Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
