So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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