just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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