I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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