Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
