if you like me you must not know who I am
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
