from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
