There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
