Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
