he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
