I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
