Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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