At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
