was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
