Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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