it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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