I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
