I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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