My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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