I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
