smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
