pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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