so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
