i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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