No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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