even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
