You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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