are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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