Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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