That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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