O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
