she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
