my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
love makes seman taste better
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
