another moral hangover. fuck.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
