U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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