Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
