Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
