go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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