he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
