THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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