that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I skipped work to stalk him.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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