chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
