He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
