Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
