haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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