It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
